Where do I fit in?

The problem is me not you.
(May 2022)

I’m told…
my brain injury fatigue may improve over time, but no more can be done.

Fatigue, lack of cognitive reserve, call it what you like. I need strategies that include rest periods.

Punctuating life with recharge points is often antisocial.
The problem is me not you.

I’m told…
my brain struggles with simultaneous sensory stimulation.

Noise and multiple conversations are problematic. I can’t always keep up and communicate. 1-1, 1 at a time, or even 1-many, is OK when recharged. 2-1, or many to 1, is unmanageable for this 1.

The need to escape large group chat is antisocial.
The problem is me not you.

I’m told…
my brain ability to manage working/short term memory is damaged.

If interrupted, I often can’t remember what I have just said. I can’t find the right words when tired even when my meaning is clear -to me at least.

Forgetting names. Repetition. Pregnant pauses… Antisocial.
The problem is me not you.

I’m told…
my brain damage affects executive, high level function.

Apparently, I’m a success story considering the damage. What I am still able to achieve in this context is good. I should be pleased with this but… I’m not who I was. I can’t do what is expected by others or self.

This may be perceived as lazy. Avoidance can be antisocial.
The problem is me not you.

I’m told…
my brain damage promotes emotional lability.

I can go from tears to laughter in an instant. This is embarrassing. As I strive to control my emotions in public, it may seem like I’m disconnected and deliberately trying to not join in.

Lack of shared whole group response and involvement is antisocial.
The problem is me not you.

Where do I fit?
my brain injury has changed my shape.

Do not be offended when I try things that might better fit my new shape. I can’t apply revised self-awareness faultlessly in the diversity of life contexts. It’s frustrating and sad when you don’t fit where you were once happy and glad, with people you care about.

Separation, personality change, and avoidance can be antisocial.
The problem is me not you.

A wider perspective…

Mark tells us…
The place of the skull (15:22) was far more than a Crown of thorns head injury. (15:17)

Disciples could not stay awake.
Left alone in sorrow and distress.
Betrayed, by one follower.
Relationship denied by another.
Worldly law required for crucifixion.
Communication issues.
Mocked by many.
Ridiculed and publicly tortured.
Forsaken by God the father.
Took our judgment without relief.
Darkness fell.
Earthquake. Curtain of separation torn.
“Surely this man was the son of God.

Jesus knew the intensity of physical and emotional pain in the frail human form.

Our creator God provides outstanding love to justify sinful people. All people.

The sin problem came from us. The solution came from God, quite literally.

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